One of those days

I was on a roll this morning. Got up at my usual time, had my coffee, made cream biscuits to take into work. All was well until I got to my desk and was settling myself for the morning with my full second cup of coffee in hand. Somehow I managed to tip it over and the cup fell to the floor with precision splash factor. My light pink pants were the main recipient of the coffee, and you can imagine how I felt, going through an entire day of training wearing my morning coffee so prominently displayed. Most days I could run home and make a quick change, but not today. We’ve had someone from another PeaceHealth region here to help launch our new imaging process. So not a day to duck out and miss anything.

I went out with several friends from the office for lunch, pink and brown pants not withstanding, and I offered to drive. Of course the parking options were parallel. Now, I never choose parallel spaces unless there is NOTHING in front or in back of the space I’m targeting. But that wasn’t possible today. Cruise ships are in, town was hopping at lunch…lucky to find a space at all, parallel or not. So I had the pleasure of parking with great difficulty with a car full of co-workers. Do you know how long it takes to park when you have an audience and the parking is tight? Let’s just say we had a late lunch. And everyone was really very kind about it. The snickering was muffled. And I know they were laughing with me.

So in the big picture, that hardly counts as a bad day, right? I didn’t really think I was having a bad day. But I was reminded again that no matter how competent I may be, or how well I may do at a job or other area of my life, throw a little insecurity my way, a little embarrassment, and my high school self rears its head, sending me (secretly, and briefly) back to the shy and insecure girl that wanted to fit in, to be cool, to be “right,” whatever that meant at the moment.

Well that girl – woman, thank you – has been grown up for a while now, and I learned long ago that few people are concerned with what I’m doing…they’re thinking about the spot they acquired at breakfast, or their own bad parking job. It helped a lot when I realized, somewhere along the way, that pretty much everyone lives with insecurity, with mistakes made prominently in front of co-workers or friends and family. Everyone has that little voice inside that second-guesses and is self-critical. I learned the best tactics to overcome those feelings are acknowledgement and laughter. I admit it…some days, I collect spots. Not every day, but often enough that I’m a good customer for spot removers and laundry stain fighters. And I would like to deny it, but there are too many witnesses to get away with denial…I’m a bad parker. There, admitted. So I laugh it off, remember that what’s important is not the parking, but the experience. And lunch was great. AND we all made it back to the office safely.

Tomorrow I’m wearing something brown, just to be on the safe side. Just in case these things run in threes.